Letting go!

I put myself on a bit of a fun ban while I was doing my exams. I didn't take it to ridiculous levels and lock myself in the house or anything but I turned down a few nights out in order to revise. This made half 11 on the 19th June when I finished my last ever A level exam (fingers crossed!) even more exciting.

I like to think that I'm quite a fun person most of the time even if I pretend to be super sensible. I've realised though that having absolutely nothing to worry about is the best feeling in the world, not only because it means you have nothing to do but mainly because it seems to turn me into this super relaxed Katy that I don't think I've ever met before.

I think it's important to let go after a long period of stress and I celebrated the end of exams with a night out in Chelmsford with some of my best friends. It was really fun but it made me realise that sometimes I let go a little bit too much. I was trying to celebrate as much as possible and in the process got a little too drunk then spent the next week feeling like I was the worst person in the world, not ideal.

I had loads more to look forward to though, starting with the Year 13 prom, which was a lovely night with lovely people. It was very different to Year 11 prom but I'd argue that everyone probably looked nicer despite having made less effort. Drinks were massively over priced so we didn't get too drunk but it was a cute little goodbye.

After Prom, I still had two great things to look forward to, tour and my girls holiday (blog to come). Tour really showed off this new relaxed Katy. I was so immature that I think I made everyone wonder who the leaving year 13 was. I've never laughed so much in my life and at stuff I've never found funny before. Toilet humour and sexual innuendos have never really amused me but all weekend I was giggling away to just that. That mixed with living my childhood and just general life dream of performing at Disneyland Paris made it one of the best weekends ever and a great way to say goodbye to the people who have made my time at school unlike any other. 

The moral of the story for me is that it's good to let go and fun Katy is the best type of Katy. 

Ready to leave?

I have now officially left college. My school leavers day was over a month ago now and it was no where near as sad as I thought it was going to be. I'm someone who cries a lot and I've been crying about leaving school for most of the year, but I didn't cry then. It wasn't the same as the year 11 assembly (Class of 2012 blog), I was in the majority by staying tear-free. If I'm honest, we're all ready to leave, it doesn't mean we didn't enjoy our time at school, although I'm sure many people didn't, but we're ready to go to uni or work or whatever else we're planning to do. Year 13 leavers day, at my school anyway, is more of  a celebration, mainly a chance to laugh at how silly we all are.

I had been convinced I was going to cry. I was quite involved with organising the assembly and had seen the leavers film numerous times and each time it brought a tear to my eye. It was the perfect mix of humour and sentimentality but on the day it just didn't seem appropriate to cry. The assembly was lovely though and probably a lot better without any panda eyes. Three of my friends are in a band called The Trip Kings and performed at the assembly with their song "Trip Kings come to town" which is possibly the most catchy song you will ever hear.

After the assembly we went to the pub because...well, we're sixth form students! One of the boys in our year came outside to me and my friends saying "come inside we're playing drinking games with the teachers". Drinking... with the TEACHERS?! We had pretty much left school and we're adults now, so why did that seem so weird to us. For some reason, there is just something a bit strange about seeing teachers in a social situation. The other night I went out for a meal with the music tech student; their teachers and one of my music teachers (I'm the only Year 13 music student at my school this year). It was lovely and didn't feel at all weird to be out with them, although calling the teachers by their first names kept catching us out and I'm wondering if they'll ever stop feeling like our teachers!

On the morning of leavers day, I got a tweet from a friend who used to be in many of the school music groups with me. She said that the school leavers day seemed like nothing compared to her final concert. I think that's exactly how I'll be, I love my year at school but we're all leaving at the same time, whereas, it feels very sad to leave behind all my friends from years 7-12 within the music department, as well as the year 8 form I've worked with for 2 years and my 3 amazing violin pupils. It's just over a week until the school summer music concert; my last morning with my year 8s and my last lessons with my pupils so it might be time for me to stock on some tissues and waterproof mascara before I'm just a puddle on the floor! 

There's a reality show for everything!

Tonight is the final of 'The Exclusives'. The first advert caused much controversy, causing all the journalists I follow on twitter to burst into ridiculing the candidates and the whole idea of a reality TV show for this particular industry. The aim of the show to find the next young star to work for, arguably one of the most powerful Magazine groups, Bauer publications. The chance of a job at one of these magazines obviously appeals to me, (my absolute dream job is being the next Polly Vernon writing about feminist issues each week in Grazia), however, I completely agreed with the viewpoints of journalists like Grace Dent who wrote a review of the first episode for the Independent summarising the absurdity of reality TV and this show's glamorisation of working in the media industry with the sarcastic comment: "ITV2 put the kids up in the luxury apartment as a fair representation of where one can hope to abide in London on an unpaid editorial-assistant travel-expense wage" I've come to learn since looking to be a journalist that it's not easy. I've been told so many times by working journalists, journalism lecturers, journalism students and just about everyone  that it's going to be a life of lots of work for little pay, so there is something a little un-realistic about 'The Exclusives'. The competition that has been running for viewers throughout the show seems to sum up the producer's representation of journalism to me, saying that the Camera, Dictaphone, Laptop, Headphones, Magazine subscription, Mobile phone and Cash prize, was "everything you need to become a top reporter yourself"!

I have been asked by various people if I would ever apply for a show like 'The Exclusives' and at first I replied with a definite no. I saw it as ruining your credibility and career before it's even been established. There seems to be an unwritten rule in this career that you must remain independent and asking for help is a sign of weakness and the more I've watched 'The Exclusives' the more I've considered if that rule is outdated. We live in a world now, where there is a reality TV show for everything and although it's annoying, it does, to a certain extent, give everyone a chance to do something with their life, albeit quite high profile and often criticised. I would still say now that I wouldn't be interested in appearing on a show like 'The Exclusives but I can't deny that these candidates, particularly Ellie who I am most definitely rooting for in tonight's final, are passionate about journalism and are willing to work hard to get to the top. The show will give them contacts and as they say, 'It's who you know not what you know".

I've enjoyed watching the series and as much as I sit and criticise them, they're out doing what they want to do. The mentors and judges on the show which include Hannah Fernando and Lucie Cave from 'Heat!' have been constantly reinforcing the value of good writing, which I was pleased to see. I honestly don't know what my writing is like, but to me, without good writing and a strong viewpoint you don't have a journalist! 

'The Exclusives' final is on ITV2 at 9pm tonight (28th June) featuring finalists Ellie, Stuart and Felix. 

I'm getting old!

I keep finding myself saying the phrase “I sound so old”.

Obviously I’m not old, I’m actually quite young but I don’t think I’m the only 18 year old who’s feeling like this now and again. The idea of turning 18 felt a little bit scary to me and the idea of leaving home and having to look after yourself is even worse.  It’s the idea of being ‘officially’ an adult and having to grow up! I still feel like I'm about two and I still act like I am most of the time. I'm going to Disneyland Paris as part of the school music tour in July and despite being one of the oldest students going, I can guarantee that I will be the most excited one there, running around trying to get pictures with all the characters while dressed as a princess! 

I'm sure this is bound to embarrass one of my friends who'll be there with me. Me and my best friend have made it our mission to embarrass this girl at school. She's in year 9 so we like to make her look as uncool as possible! I shout at her in the corridor, tell her to correct her uniform and tell her off for being cheeky to teachers. I'm just as embarrassing to my brother who's in the same year but he has the power to embarrass me back. 

Both of them make me feel very old on a regular occasion. Often by using slang words that are now being said by EVERYONE their age but mean a completely different thing. The most recent word that I came across was when my friend told me she wouldn't be at Orchestra because "I'm going to a party because I'm MAINSTREAM". I thought that Mainstream was the opposite of Hipster. That you were a bit of a sheep, following the crowd, listening to chart music and wearing Chinos and Hollister hoodies. I questioned her use of the word to which she said "do you even understand what Mainstream means?" I was shocked and told her yes  to which she said "well I don't know, I thought you might be too old". 

After conferring with my brother over the word, I've found out that to 14 year olds now, the word mainstream means cool which doesn't make much sense to me. I hate the idea of patronising people younger than me but I do often refer to them as 'about 12' and laugh at year 9s in particular. I was ridiculous in year 9, so it's not exclusive to today's 14 year olds. I don't mean to be patronising but I'm going to be, we all are though. The latest thing that has allowed sixth formers to laugh at the year 9s in my school is the uniform protest, against a change in uniform policy...that hasn't changed anything. 

We laugh at them, but life was definitely much easier in year 9 and I'd probably rather be sitting on the field moaning about not being able to wear skinny trousers and fake eyelashes to school than stuck inside doing A  level practice papers. 

I'm embracing being boring!

Getting the perfect balance between having a social life and working hard to pass your exams seems to be almost impossible.

I've always thought that I'm quite good at prioritising things in my life. I work hard and do well enough at school, spend time with my friends on a regular basis and still find time to read Grazia, paint my nails and update my blog (albeit not as much as I'd like to). The problem is I don't have enough time or energy to do everything.

One of my pet peeves is when people moan about how busy they are as if no one else could possibly have more to do than them, this kind of ties in with another pet peeve of mine which is the phrase "you think GCSEs are hard, wait until you try A levels". Everything is difficult for someone at some point and no one should be made to feel as though they don't have the right to moan. I don't know a single person who has never felt overwhelmed by the amount of revision they have to do or how many concerts they have that week and how they're going to fit in time to see their friends and actually talk to their family. More often than not it gets to the point where you just want to go to sleep and wake up when you don't have anything to stress about. But let's be honest that day will never come. People seemed to be programmed to moan and although it feels a little ironic that we spend so much time complaining about complaining, it's a fact of life.

While I was doing my GCSEs I became a bit of a recluse. I'd caught the much feared Swine Flu in October of year 11 which gave a bit of a hit to my immune system and I spent the rest of the academic year feeling just a little bit weird. Parties were becoming and more and more popular and I didn't really drink so I wasn't too interested in going out a lot. I blamed my growing unsociability on "feeling ill" most of the time, which was never really a lie but truthfully I just wanted to stay in and revise. I didn't stress out too much about GCSEs but I felt like I needed to be spending as much time as possible working for them which was probably true as I still just got "good" results, no A*s. I was really happy with them but I was no where near the top.

As my A levels are approaching I have a slightly different attitude but the principle is still there. I've never been naturally intelligent. I'm definitely not stupid but in school I've always been just slightly above average, which isn't a real problem for me, it just means I have to work hard. I think on first impression, people either think I'm really stupid because I'm loud and chatty or really intelligent because I'm often the opposite in the classroom. I need a B in Media Studies to get into my first choice university and the others can be 3 Ds. That seems pretty achievable to me but I don't want that. Getting a D grade at A level is perfectly fine, in fact it's good but everyone has personal goals and if I don't get the grades that I want it won't be a problem for me as long as I know I did everything I could.

That's why I chose not to go out tonight. I would love to be dancing away to mama do the hump in Chicagos with my best friends drinking jager bombs until the early hours of the morning but I have my A level music recital on Friday and my brain cells can't cope with the damage right now. So I've spent my evening teaching violin pupils, practising, doing some homework, revising music, watching TOWIE and now writing this blog. Every time I tell my friends that I can't go out because I'm practising or revising or doing whatever, I always feel like they think I'm really boring because they have exactly the same problems as I do and I'm sure their results will be as good as mine, if not better, even with the nights out but if I didn't give up a bit of socialising just for these next couple of months I'd always be thinking that I could have done better in my A levels. The difference between now and year 11 is that I'm (hopefully) not going to become a complete recluse and leave my friends wondering if I've fallen off the face of the earth, I'm just going to 'take it easy'.

So, to all my friends: Fun Katy will be back after my last exam on the 19th June, grab me a vodka and coke and get ready for a summer without stress!

Everything Happens for a Reason

I'm a strong believer in fate and you'll often hear me telling people that 'Everything happens for a reason'. I'm also a massive hypocrite and often struggle to take my own advice...

Back in November, one of my best friends was rejected from her first choice university and was absolutely devastated. I gave her a big talk about how it was probably for the best, she obviously wasn't meant to go there and she'd end up wherever she's supposed to be. A few weeks later I was rejected from my first choice university and absolutely fell apart. It just so happened that I made the fatal mistake of checking UCAS track just before a concert so was in the company of many people during what I'm going to call 'The Rejection breakdown'. While I was bawling uncontrollably in front of a nearly full audience, one of my music teachers gave me the same advice I'd given to my friend just a few weeks earlier, "You'll end up where you're supposed to be" and although I found it difficult to see how that could be true when I'd just been rejected from what I thought was 'the' place where journalists were made, I've come to learn that that is the phrase to constantly keep in your mind when going through the university application process.

I have now completely changed my mind on where I want to go to university and I couldn't be more pleased about it. I don't think my new first choice and my old first choice could be much more different. The university which rejected me because I was unlikely to meet the grade boundaries seems to have quite old school values with a course run by an extremely right wing individual. I am happy to work with people with different political beliefs to me however I think I would have found it quite difficult to be taught by someone who I often see on Newsnight arguing points which make me roll my eyes numerous amounts of times.

After reading an article written by this professor's star student I am feeling ecstatic that I received a rejection! I'm not claiming to be a fantastic journalist, right now I'm a complete amateur but I hope that by my third year of studying the subject at university I'll be able to check through an article I've written and make sure I haven't contradicted myself throughout whilst verbally attacking a large group of people.

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/sara-malm-going-on-strike-is-disgraceful-selfish-and-quite-frankly-pass-7643118.html

I am thrilled to hopefully be starting in September at a university where the Vice Chancellor is pictured making the Queen giggle and tweets a million times a day, the professors have a sense of humour and the students have fun and I don't care if it makes the difference between whether I work at a local paper or for the independent, there's more to life than what is going to look best on your CV!


Thank god I'm not intelligent!

The highlight of my year! The BRIT awards!

We can't exactly call this live blogging but I had a concert so we'll have to deal with 'half an hour late blogging'. I could just not do this and miss watching the brits but it's the highlight of my year so that's not going to happen!

At this point, the way they've structured this show is feeling incredibly awkward, I love James Corden but he's not being funny enough yet to make this feel comfortable and the very short clips followed by short autocue following introductions is not very entertaining.

I wish I liked Florence and the Machine but I'm not really a fan. My best friend bought me her album for my 16th birhtday and I have it on my ipod and I listen to it now and again and I can't say I hate it but I'm just not a fan of her voice. I do like her dress though...

British Female solo artist.

This might become more of a blog about dresses than the show but I want to look like Kylie and own that dress!

Adele
Laura Marling
Kate Bush
Jessie J
Florence and the Machine

WINNER: Adele

I just had a heart attack. Majorly fan girling and wanting to be Jessie J. I think I need to do a blog informing the world of my love for Jack Whitehall but I don't want to risk sounding too unintelligent and I can't control myself when talking about that beautiful man!

International Male solo artist

David Guetta
Aloe Blacc
Ryan Adams
Bon Iver
Bruno Mars

WINNER : Bruno Mars

This doesn't surprise me at all, I bought Bruno's album and I'm a big fan but Aloe Blacc is one of the best acts I've seen live so I'd choose him over lots of people.

I'm definitely over the O2 experience and already wanting to see him again. Don't judge him on this performance though, he seems extremely nervous and his voice sounds quite weak. I'm always an Olly fan and will support him no matter what but he can sing much better than that.

Critics choice award

Emeli Sandé - how awkward was that? no real congratulations just a tiny clip then an interview with Jessie J.

I'm going to take this opportunity to rant. I don't understand how any one can criticise Ed Sheeran for anything. He stood on a stage tonight and performed completely alone. He sang note perfect and played his own instrument. Who else does that? This is probably the biggest gig he's ever played and he is without a doubt the best musician in the charts at the moment. I would very much like to see Rhianna, Bruno Mars, Jessie J or even Adele perform on such a big occasion with only a Guitar, a loop pedal and a microphone to keep you company. It just wouldn't happen so all of you NME readers should really stop moaning about how 'mainstream' because he likes Nandos and has a large fanbase and actually listen to his music and give the man some credit!



Best British single

Someone like You - Adele
Heart Skips a Beat - Olly Murs
Changed the Way you kisssed me - Example
Glad you came - The Wanted
She makes me wanna - JLS
Price Tag - Jessie J ft B.O.B
The A team - Ed Sheeran
Wherever you are - Military Wives ft Gareth Malone
All about tonight - Pixie Lott
What makes you beautiful - One Direction

WINNER = What makes you beautiful - One Direction

One Direction are currently my phone wallpaper. I love Louis Tomlinson and I'm not ashamed to say it and WMYB is a very good song but it has nothing on The A team. Viewer voted though so not really surprising.

International female solo artist

Beyonce
Rihanna
Feist
Bjork
Lady Gaga

WINNER = Rihanna

It makes me very sad that Rihanna is successful. She can't really sing very well but she can dance and look sexy. The feminist inside me crys a little bit everytime she gets on stage. She is not

British Male Solo Artist

James Blake
Ed Sheeran
Noel Gallagher's high flying birds
Professor Green
James Morrison

WINNER = Ed Sheeran

There is no way he doesn't deserve this. Remember, what I said in the BAFTAs blog about how important it is for a celebrity to be likeable, Eddy boy is definitely likeable. Plus, he looks really cute in his suit.

British group

Coldplay
Chase and Status
Kasabian
Arctic Monkeys
Elbow

WINNER = Coldplay

not a massive fan of coldplay but the question I'd like answered is why is British group voted for by the public when the solo artist awards are industry awarded? doesn't seem very fair.

Is it just me or has Chris Martin all of a sudden got very good looking? I'm not sure if I should be ashamed that I'm starting to fancy him a little bit...

I love Adele, I can't call myself a super fan but I want her to be my friend and I want to listen to her lots and lots. I don't have any of her albums though so I can't really call myself any fan at all. Maybe this show will inspire me to buy lots of albums like the BAFTAs inspired me to watch lots of films. I also want her hair and her dress and her eyes...

International group

Jay Z and Kanye West
Foo Fighters
Fleet Foxes
Lady Antebellum
Maroon 5

WINNER = Foo Fighters

Does it say something about a group if they aren't there to collect the award and then have only one member of the band leave a message?

British Breakthrough act

The Vaccines
Anna Calvi
Emeli Sandé
Ed Sheeran
Jessie J

WINNER = Ed Sheeran

I'm hoping he tweets what he means by telling his manager that he needs a sofa...

International Breakthrough act

I cannot think of a better pairing than Rob Brydon and Will.I.Am. That needs to be

Lana del Ray
Aloe Blacc
Bon Iver
Nicki Minaj

WINNER = Lana del Ray

I think she may be the most annoying artist around, I quite like her songs actually but that lip and her 'oh I'm so helpless' act makes me want to give her a massive slap with that brit award.

I hear and see whining and wiggling, looks like Rihanna is performing. If you are thinking about going to see Rihanna and like people being able to sing in tune I would recommend rethinking your plans. Rihanna is one of the worst acts I've seen live, probably just ahead of Lonsdale boys club and Plan B. It did look fun being on that stage though, I wouldn't mind partying with Rihanna, as long as her music wasn't played...

Mastercard British album of the year

How drunk is George Michael? slurring his words!

Let England Shake - PJ Harvey -
+ - Ed Sheeran
21 - Adele
Mylo xyloto - Coldplay
Ceremonials - Florence & the machine

Why is Ricky from Eastenders sitting with Adele? I'd love for them to be friends!

Controversial opinion coming here and I understand why people are annoyed that they cut Adele off in her acceptance speech but these shows run to a tight schedule and it would be completely unfair to restrict the time blur get to play for. I know lots of people my age don't really appreciate blur but if they've rehearsed a 15 minute set then they should get to play it. It's not really hurting Adele to lose a few minutes of her thank you speech, she's had lots of them before and I have no doubt that there'll be plenty more opportunities, there was definitely no need for her to look as if James Corden had told her they'd read out the wrong name. I love blur and would much rather listen to 15 minutes of them than a bit more of Adele thanking people so I'm a little bias but I thought their performance was a great end to the show. Can I see them next please?

I wonder who we'll be watching pick up awards next year and whether the host will be allowed to actually talk and make any witty comments. This is definitely not the best BRIT awards so hopefully next year will be better when I'll hopefully be able to watch it from a University flat somewhere in the country!