SURPRISE!

I'm either extremely gullible and naïve or my friends and family are the best liars in the world.

This week was my 18th birthday and I've been so excited about it, with a meal planned with some of my friends on Wednesday, a family meal at posh restaurant 'The Blue Strawberry' on Friday and a meal at TGIs with my 4 best friends on Saturday afternoon. Those plans included a large calorie count but a lovely way to celebrate my birthday! However, I was completely unaware that my friends and family had other plans of how I was to spend my Friday night!

I had already had one major surprise on Wednesday night when I opened the present from two of my best friends, Megan and Ciara to find a wireless modem box, which left me searching for any private joke about bad internet that might have led to them buying this for me and describing it as 'the best present ever'! They soon revealed that I needed to open the box and after attacking the sellotape with a knife I managed to get in, screaming and shaking when I found a ticket to see 'the love of my life' Jack Whitehall. Megan told me of how they had been scheming with my Mum to check I was free and I felt very proud of Ciara, who cannot be subtle to save her life for keeping it a complete secret.

As if I wasn't shocked enough by that, I was then hit by the massive shock that was Friday night! I was told that we had a table booked for the blue strawberry at 8.15 so I needed to get glammed up for orchestra so we could come home, pick up the boys and go. The lies were so convincing. My best friends Heather and Cat both told me they had plans with some of their friends that night and my Granddad said he had to leave early because he was feeling ill.

The moment I walked into my house and my friends jumped out shouting surprise is all a bit of a blur. I remember looking up and seeing my friend Charli and thinking 'what are you doing here?' then slowly realising that the room was filled with all of my best friends. Everyone was looking at me and I really didn't know what to say, I turned round to my mum with an accusing, 'what have you done' look, then I just started crying. It's all very cheesy and since that moment I have been incredibly emotional, crying at the thought of it, but it's an amazing feeling knowing that you have so many people in your life that want to make you happy. Lots of people have said to me this week 'I hope you have a good birthday because you truly deserve it'. I have no idea what I've done to deserve it but these people have made my birthday the best ever and they have made my life so far amazing.

Although my mum was very very worried that I would be crying for the wrong reason rather than endless happy tears. All week I have been saying how much I hate liars and although it is quite funny to think about me walking in and breaking down screaming, 'I can't trust anyone, why does everyone lie', that would have been disastrous. I didn't though and I've definitely been shown that even liars can be lovely.

Even though my birthday is now over I'm looking forward to a fantastic year spent with the very best friends in the world and my fabulous family. Thank you to everyone who made my birthday so special and being fantastic liars. It meant so much that everyone made such a massive effort from the boy who never goes to parties but came to mine; my awkward best friend who puts up with my constant embarrassing; my superstar cocktail waiter brother; the girl who I've been told nearly slipped up on many occasions but still kept it secret to the boy who put up with my unnecessary overreaction and all of you other schemers!

I'm a very lucky adult (although still 7 inside!)

Katy xxxxxx

First Impressions

Everyone says 'Don't judge a book by its cover' and I am starting to see the truth behind that saying. Whether you're referring to an actual book, a person or even a University, your first impression doesn't necessarily count for much!

Unfortunately, you don't always get the opportunity to change someone's first impression of you, which I'm beginning to find slightly worrying as I have recently discovered that a lot of people, usually male, take a little while to really 'get me'. Many people would describe me as quite talkative and my inability to tame the chatty, excitable Katy often leads to me sounding rather ditzy.I've recently been told by a few people that Jess (played by Zooey Deschanel)in New Girl, is 'just like me'. I take this as a massive compliment because New Girl is my new favourite TV show and I think Jess is lovely but she's not exactly a character that people would desire to be like. I really see the resemblance though and the way people react to her on first meeting is reminiscent of the way many people look at me on many occasions.

I don't blame anyone for having a negative first impression of me though because I don't think it means anything in the end. If you think about the first thing you thought of people who you're friends with now then they'll probably be very different to what you think now. When I was in year 9 I sat on an English table with 4 boys and only one girl. This girl seemed lovely and very intelligent but I remember thinking to myself that it was unlikely that we'd ever be close friends because 'she was too quiet for me'. That is a ridiculous thought and surprise, surprise completely untrue. That girl is now one of my best friends, a friend for life and certainly the person who I shared the best and funniest memories of school with.

Its not only people that you have first impressions of. I have changed my mind about which university I want to go to about 10 times. Although I'm not retracting the advice I gave in one of my previous blogs about what to base your University decision on when visiting on an open day, I would like to add that you need to be open minded that things might change. I received a rejection from the uni that was my top choice at the time I applied, however I soon found a new favourite, which then changed and has now changed again. I have visited my two most recent favourites twice now and they became my favourite after the second visit so what I'm trying to say is that first impressions are unreliable and we all need to become open to developing our thoughts on a person or a place or whatever we are faced with. If we didn't then we'd probably end up unhappy and alone, so I'm no longer relying on first impressions because that's not something I want.

Class of 2012

I didn't cry at my end of year 11 assembly.

I must have been 1 of about 10 out of over 200 students who didn't, I've never felt so unsatisfied. It was a sad assembly but I knew that the majority of us would be back at the same school for sixth form. What a time to gain a realistic mind! I wouldn't usually complain about not crying but when your whole year group are walking around hugging each other and blubbing "We have to keep in touch" you feel a bit left out. Plus, an awful repercussion of not crying on the day is that I got it all a month later while watching the video of our Head of Year's goodbye speech!

I don't think I felt like I was a big part of my year group then either. I'd always thought I was someone everyone knew. Not because I was mega popular or mega uncool or anything, but I just assumed everyone knew who I was. They didn't, I just spent a lot of time in the music department so the majority of people probably just knew me as 'that girl that has a pink music case of some sort'(for anyone that ever wondered and still doesn't know, it's a violin).

I feel very differently now. I'm still not someone who every single person in my year will know, but I'm not so sure that's a bad thing any more. I am so much more connected with my year group though and that's what's important. This year, I get to help organise loads of events and various other stuff for college with some really great people, some who I may have never even have spoken to if we hadn't have decided to get involved.

Everyone always says that no one cries at the year 13 leaving assembly but I think I probably will do. All it took was one look at the year 13 photo for me to start crying the other day so I feel like it's inevitable. There are only a handful of people who I can honestly say I wouldn't be able to tell you a single memory from my time at school with them and unfortunately I can't be so nonchalant about leaving this time because how many adults do you know that still see all of their school friends?

So even though it's not until May. Dear member of my year group, If you don't know who I am, I'll be the one blubbing in the corner.
Katy xxx

"Don't leave until you've left"

This time of year is obviously a time for celebration. Everyone is starting to get into the Christmas spirit with the start of advent; Christmas decoration week at college and Secret Santa shopping, it’s hard not to feel a little bit festive. Without meaning to pull a negative out of a happy time, I’m starting to feel a little bit sentimental about where we’ll all be in a year’s time.

By this time next year, many of us will be nearing the end of our first term at University and preparing to return home for the Christmas holidays. Ready to see friends and the many landmarks that good old Maldon offers. We’ll be ready for big home cooked meals from Mum after too many Pot Noodles and chips, and surprisingly, we’ll probably all be looking forward to a slight detox from all the alcohol consumption. College will just see a role reversal, with the year 12s being handed a large case of email-refresh syndrome and the year 11s just getting settled in to college life. I’m almost certain that it will be as if we never left our friends, however it does feel hard to think like that at the moment. I’m sure that the majority of years 13s have got emotional at least once when considering how life is going to change in the next year; it doesn’t at all undermine the thrill of applying to university and the excitement that comes when thinking of actually being there, although it is inevitable when it comes to change. I think the worst thing about the prospect of moving away from home is the thought of being forgotten by the people you leave behind. You start to think that your family are going to transform your room into a guest bedroom and that you’re never going to see your best friends again. We all know that none of that is true, but it doesn’t stop it being a persistent worry for us all. One of my best and oldest friends is currently studying at Aberystwyth University in Wales and I’m really looking forward to seeing her in a couple of weeks, I’m always wondering how she’s getting on and constantly trying to find ways to talk to her and find out, so you’re definitely not forgotten, when you go.
It is inevitable that we will think about how different things are going to be this time next year, but realistically, Christmas shouldn’t be the time for it because next Christmas we’ll be home and still enjoying the family Christmas and Secret Santa with friends. The truth is we’ll probably just have more interesting stories to tell. I’m trying to install something my best friend said to me the other day, as a motto for my life. She said “Don’t leave before you’ve left” and I think that pretty much sums up what I, and many others, have been doing recently. I’m constantly thinking about how much things are going to change and trying to make sure everyone remembers me, which is resulting in me forgetting to enjoy the time I’ve got left in Maldon, and at plume.

Happy Christmas Everybody and give the email refreshing for Uni offers a rest over the holidays, we don’t need the stress!

The Waiting Game

I'm extremely happy for everyone who is getting University offers and they definitely deserve to tell the world because it is a great feeling and I'm sure I'll be bragging to the high heavens when/if I get them. However, it does make me scream at my computer screen, asking why my Uni choices don't love me. This went to the extreme last night though, when the Professor of Journalism at one of my choices appeared on Newsnight, and while I listened intently to his point of view on The Leveson inquiry I whined, pleading to the television for him to send me an interview/test date.

That is embarrassing behaviour.

Yet, I don't think I'm the only one who is finding that their life is ruled by checking their e-mail and constantly worrying that every University hates you. As I've mentioned before, I check my e-mails at every spare moment and now that I have been made aware of the UCAS track iphone app, I have no doubt that I'll be logging on to that whenever I'm free too.

It's difficult to stay positive and trust that the replies will take time and some courses or universities will reply sooner than others when all you can think about is how much you want to succeed in your career of choice is. I can't seem to stop myself constantly running through exactly why I want to be a Journalist. This seems to make the worrying worse because in a cheesy x factor style "this is all I want". Although, I need to start listening to my own advice because, as I said to one of my best friends who was unfortunately rejected by her top choice, "You'll end up in the right place".

I will continue to wait and wait and wait. The UCAS process is definitely a never ending cycle and the worry won't be over until I'm settled into a University. I wonder how much my A level grades would improve if I stopped constantly refreshing my e-mails and spend the time doing revision or coursework. That's definitely food for thought...

"Everybody's Changing and I don't know why"

Before I write this blog I want to make it very clear that I am really looking forward to going to University and nothing will change that in my mind. That is what makes this so hard.

Even with all the drama of visiting open days, sending off applications, constantly refreshing my email for offers or invitations and all the other stressful but exciting elements of the process, there is always this lingering thought in the back of my mind that I'm going to have to leave everything I love behind.

This thought causes me to break down into tears or struggle against them at many inconvenient times often in public. Today's venue for my break down was the school music room before a band rehearsal for the school production. Luckily, I had two very lovely girls, who I would class as some of my closest friends, were on hand to comfort me. That is not something you see in every subject area, a year 13 student crying on the shoulder of a year 10 student. Another reason why it is so difficult to leave. I would count the whole music department at Plume as an extended family and I'll miss the year 7s just as much as the year 12s, it's as if there isn't an age difference and I can't imagine finding that sort of atmosphere anywhere else.

I understand that things change, but the moments when you realise things have changed or are changing always manage to take you by surprise. When we were in Secondary school, we looked back on the friends we no longer talked to from primary school. Now we're in Sixth form, we look back on the friends we no longer talk to from secondary school and no doubt, when we're at University we'll look back on the friends we no longer talk to from sixth form, it's a never ending circle. Things change and I am a believer in fate so if you don't end up friends with them forever then I suppose you have to appreciate the time you were friends for.

There are definitely people who's friendship I took for granted. There are two boys who I was friends with while doing my GCSEs. I would have never spent time with either of them outside of school but I always enjoyed their company during lessons and times spent with them are probably some of the most enjoyable of my school life. One of them I drifted apart from in year 11 and when he moved to another sixth form, we weren't likely to make an effort to keep in touch. I still see the other frequently but for various reasons, we're not exactly on the best of terms anymore and until today, if I'm honest that didn't really bother me at all. The impending departure at the end of year has really made me think about how much those little friendships mean to you, they are never people you'd call your best friends but when you're not really on speaking terms with that person, it makes you realise that you miss the days when you could spend a Study Support lesson laughing with no awkardness.

This may be too personal for a blog post but if this blog wasn't a little personal, would anyone be interested at all?

Because I am aware that things are going to change a lot at the end of this year, I am determined to enjoy my last year in Maldon. I have got various exciting things planned for over the year but it's more about spending as much time as possible enjoying the company of my friends. Particuarly my two best friends. I know that not everything is good between you at the moment but I can't handle spending the year not being able to spend time with both of you together.

This is an open letter to my choir four in particular. I miss our friendship more than anything and propose a dominoes and X factor night very soon.

Katy xxx

The dreaded acronym

I'm almost certain that if you were to take a survey of year 13 students all around the country, asking them the question: 'What is your main cause of stress?', I can almost guarantee that a lot of the answers will contain the acronym UCAS.

I have noticed that many people who have previously spoken of how much they wish to go to University have changed my mind due to a variety of different factors. After the controversial government changes to University fees, many people believe that less students will decide to go to University based on the high debt they expect to get. However, I think that a lot more people are being put off by the stress of filling in their UCAS application and getting it sent off.

I recently sent off my application and ever since I have, I've felt a lot more relaxed. I was getting too stressed that if I was to send it off too late then I would stand no chance of getting into University. Although, part of this stress was due to reasons beyond my control, I did feel that the wait to finally send of my application was taking over my life.

The question is, Are people being put off of going to University by the thought of filling out their UCAS application. Definitely, not everyone is and many people defer for a year or more because they would rather concentrate on getting good A level results in year 13 and then spend quality time filling out their UCAS application.

However, I disagree with the proposed plans to postpone the application process until after A2 exams. With a little bit of work, the application doesn't take too long and isn't too strenuous. You need to have time to do the research and be confident with your decisions. It causes a lot of stress for everyone but it should be worth it in the long run.

These are the moments when having an iphone can either be considered as a very bad thing or a very good thing, at some point it is bound to have a meltdown due to the amount I refresh my email...